There is lots of talk about “self care” these days. Entire talk show segments and websites dedicated to it. Oftentimes, it is marketed to women like me – busy and juggling multiple family, work, community responsibilities at once, trying to “have it all” and “do it all”. The notion of self care is a good one – schedule a massage, get a pedicure, go out to dinner! But sometimes, the best self care is to do nothing.

This is not a ground breaking idea. Infants, toddlers and young children typically have “do nothing” scheduled into every single day. It’s called naptime. I was devastated when I learned that naptime would be a thing of the past when CJ entered kindergarten. What kind of cruel person takes away naptime from 5 year olds (and from kindergarten teachers)???

And many years ago, there was a little “do nothing” time scheduled into most adult lives in the form of a real 1 hour lunch break. I have heard that in the good old days, people were expected to actually take a break during their lunch hour. Enjoy their lunch, maybe socialize, maybe take a nap, whatever. But it was their time – a break in the day to do nothing and come back refreshed for the afternoon.

Of course we all know that is not the case anymore. I don’t know a single person who does not work through their lunch break. They may eat, but they also work – my doctor friends chart, my friends in sales make phone calls, my accountant friends keep working on spreadsheets, my teacher friends work on lesson plans or monitor students in the cafeteria. We all continue to work.

Even on my “off days” when I’m not in the office, I find my calendar filled with things to do – doctor appointments, meetings, parties, volunteer activities, kids’ activities. Much of it is enjoyable and fulfilling, but it is still time consuming and sometimes tiring. Being a person who lives by my calendar, I have decided to start scheduling “Do nothing” day. I literally put “do nothing” on my calendar and mark it to be all day. That way, when I ‘m looking to schedule an appointment, committee meeting, volunteer activity, even dinner with a friend – I do not schedule it on my do nothing day.

On those days, I don’t worry about getting up at 5:45am to go to the gym. If I don’t make it to the gym that day, it’s okay. I may stay in pajamas all day. I usually take 1 or 2 naps. I get a babysitter for at least part of the day. I sit, I dream, I watch bad TV. And I rest. It is soul quenching and re-energizing. It is necessary. If you haven’t had a do nothing day in a while, try putting one on your calendar. You won’t regret it.

And while you’re at it, schedule some do nothing time for your children as well. Children, like adults, are often over-scheduled and overworked. School is much more rigorous than it used to be, the days are longer and the list of after school activities can be endless. Add to that homework time, prep time for the next day and making sure to get enough sleep, children often have very little down time during the day. We need to build that time into their schedule – it can be nap time or, as we call it in our house, rest time. Which for our 6 year old means you can go to your room and sleep, play quietly or read. “But it’s going to be boring!” he says. My response “Boring is good for you”. We could all benefit from a little boredom.